|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
\saturday @ 10pm hehe. changed blog... its now at http://soulstruck.blogspot.com || .:: cry me a river::.. ||
thursday 10th april @ 4pm all good things come to an end. you don't believe? just wait longer and you will know what i mean. but it's best to take my advice. prepare yourself. || .:: cry me a river::.. ||
friday 3rd april @ 3.35pm it's raining outside. i like it when the sky is overcast. it has this mysterious feeling and the smell of the oncoming rain is so nice. when everything is so dark. the sense of mystery. it's different. it's so much nicer than sunshine. || .:: cry me a river::.. ||
thursday 2nd april @ 8.35pm argh. mum's piling me with work to do. claiming it's "june hols". and i feel so choked. whole day it's the same. what kind of june hols is this. nvm. i shall try to resign myself to fate and do my work quietly. unbelievable. but still. we can never do what we really really want to do. never. || .:: cry me a river::.. ||
monday 31st march @ 9.05pm stuck at home. nothing to do. homework staring at me. what can i do...life of a teenage girl. me.

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
friday 28th march @ 3.55pm Went to the beach last night. The “moonpath” was so beautiful…! Reminded me of fairies and the path to never-never-land. Really. Anyway…it is just the light from the moon illuminating the sea. I like the sounds waves make against the shore…swish swish…yup. Caught in this magical moment…did not feel like leaving it.

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
wednesday 26th march @ 4.05pm my eyes are so tired. staring at the computer so long is not fun at all. just this whole lump of unfinished work staring back at you. taunting you. "why aren't you doing your work faster??? hurry hurry hurry..." shall take a well-deserved break...although i feel a bit guilty of slacking when i should be finishing all the work...

wish i could live in the countryside. i want to be able to ride astride on a horse. ride through the endless meadows and streams. through wildflowers. through the forest. wandering through the fields. living near nature. what good is it to live in a city...just breathing in fumes and smoke whole day long. i desperately need fresh air. i need a change in life. not that im not satisfied with it or what...just that it is not my type of life. yup. sigh. am still wishing i lived somewhere else. near nature. wadeva. this wish will never come true...so why bother dreaming anyway...just makes me have this sense of loss. but sometimes...i just wish so hard...hoping i would wake up in another era of time...

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
tuesday 25th march @ 8.15pm so. im supposed to just sit back and let you take over my life. why must you always say "girl...it's for your own good...you'll appreciate it when you grow up..." dammit. i have no say in anything.

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
tuesday 25th march @ 11.10am what's their problem. just because i did not go for the theory yesterday, i cannot take the test. wasted $45. have to go this october again. am now in the encounter lab...am so happy...managed to change template without much trouble...=) thanks jas. she's now creating our sectionbatch's blog...must go see...rgssbclarinets::batch'05
...yup...jas is this super genius who knows html. and i feel very small beside her. had this really nice dream last nite. can't exactly remember it...but i woke up with this really contented feeling. i wish i could trap dreams in a net. save those happy ones. relive them. get lost in those happy times. why must we forget dreams...and remember nightmares. nightmares. hate them. monsters under my bed. knives in the cupboard ready to fly at me. madman popping in through the window. have this habit of not sleeping on my back because i have this feeling that someone is going to stab me in my stomach everytime...just that uneasy prickly feeling.

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
monday 24th march @ 11.05pm maybe i'm weird or something like that...but jas guo's diary makes me cry. it really reflects and dunno...makes me really think. yup. *shrugs* i wonder...if soulmates really exists. have been thinking about this for a long while ever since reading that book. like there is this special someone out there. just one. your playmate. your flying companion. there to pick you up when you fall. to listen to your stories. to know your inner thoughts. to love and cherish you no matter what. just the two of you. together. forever.

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
monday 24th march @ 8.25pm i HATE e-learning. it's just a way to make us unable to protest against the homework.

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
friday 21st march @ 8.35pm it's all over. when we go back, we will be sec 3s. our own juniors. will we even be skilled enough to tutor? i doubt. sec 3s...on our own...then we will be stranded. just there. like lost souls drifting around. hmm...jas...if i ever suggest not sleeping for the whole nite again, knock me on my head. i dunno how you managed to stay awake the next day. yah. was half asleep and my head kept drooping. went home and i slept at 6.30pm. felt really refreshed after that. i wont know the feeling until i really FEEL it. so i'll have to wait. and the waiting process is the worst. just waiting waiting waiting...not knowing when it would come. anticipating it yet dreading it...

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
monday 17th march @ 10.17pm Hmm. Feel really depressed today. Was practicing just now and my high notes was worst then a chicken screeching. Hmm…maybe more like Scccrrreeeechhhhhhhh. Yah. Something like that. Sigh. Why must the school only allow 1 night? It’s so not “campish" like. The sec ones miss out so much this year. Wadeva. Still remember swinging at the ropes last year at nite…really miss those times. haha…spinning round in the foyer. Sophia…remember the squash toilets??? Freaked us all out. All those really nice memories, which seem insignificant at that time holds such a special place in my heart now. It’s always like that…I realised. Those little bits and pieces in your life forms this really heartwarming moment. And it’s usually too late to fully appreciate them.

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
sunday 16th march @ 7.30pm it's holiday. and i think im banned from computer. humph. this is one of the few times i can at least TOUCH the keyboard. sheesh. wadeva *shrugs*. just got voted without my knowledge *ahem*. am now officially the EVIL MONSTER. rite. and i'll eat up everyone...yup.

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
friday 14thmarch @ 9.15pm "Father forgive them. They know not what they do." -inscription on Changi Murals

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
monday 10th march @ 8.30pm i hate it when people judge you by your school. they think girls from rgs are smart and stuck up. talk about stereotyping.

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
monday 10th march @ 8.17pm skipped tuition today to go for softball match in FTP. mum was grumbling...lol...but she finally after much persuasion, agreed- under the magical word..."one activity point". haha. but the B div was so zai in the last inning... 12 run homes...!!! talk about super man. so glad ruo qi pulled me along. hmm...was the only non-softballer there and i felt damn extra...yah. think i got a major sunburnt too. wadeva...=) and i think they all have power. congrats rgs softballers...!=P

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
sunday 9th march @ 10.25pm happy bdae liane...=)

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
sunday 9th march @ 10.15pm felt dizzy while practising just now. couldn't last through 4 counts of warm ups without feeling like fainting. wonder whats wrong with me.

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
saturday 8th march @ 6.25pm theory exam over...finally. studied for about six months just for this 3 hr exam...it's always like that...practise for few months, and the actual day, it's all over in a flash...except you get this sense of relief, satisfaction... hope my transposing was alright...they gave BOTH Bb clarinet and horn in F. was pretty shock actually. oh yah...dunno whether i was correct...the subdominant of G minor is C minor. was pretty confused. by the end, my back was aching...oh...did i mention...? the room was so nice. there was chandeliers or how ever you spell it...and so funny, there was a blackout half way into the exam...haha. was counting the chords, and suddenly the whole room just *poof* and became dark.

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
saturday @ 11.55am theory exam later...am in this dreamy state between reality and fantasy. then when i enter the exam hall, i'll probably get hit by the full impact of what is happening to day...exam. good luck to everyone having it today anyway. got a feeling i'll forget how to transpose and what is written and concert pitch. hope they make me transpose a Bb clarinet... mom made me stay at home today...missed founders day. was kinda looking forward to it. singing the songs...it has this nostalgic feeling. yah. realised i'm also gonna miss bandprac. hope mable remembers to shout for me. think i have reminded her at least 5 times...=)

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
sunday @ 8.00pm thank you fengyi for taking me on sat...it really meant alot. realised that you never appreciate someone fully until you realise how kind and helpful she is.

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
thursday @ 9.10pm never say i love u,

if u don't really care,

never talk about feelings,

if they really aren't there,

never look me in the eyes,

when all u do is lie,

never say hello,

when u really mean goodbye.

|| .:: cry me a river::.. ||
thursday @ 8.55pm just trying...and it better work...=)